Travel Call

2014 is going out with a bang because this morning we received our travel call!! Our court date was December 12, we got PA (preliminary approval) December 26. Our agency schedules our visa interview before we have final approval (FA) since it is always the same amount of time from PA to FA. We have FA on January 12, which is when we get custody and then January 15 we have the Visa Interview. So this first paragraph is really for the timeline stalkers because unless you are deep in the process you won't care about it at all but when you are in process you want to know what happens when to the second. Other peoples blogs going through the process and SWS and In Process FB groups have really gotten me through this 2+ year wait!

We leave next Thursday and I could not be more excited! I honestly have nothing left to prepare really as his room is done, his closet is stocked and we even have snacks ready for the trip. And his suitcase already packed. Can you tell I have been waiting on this call for literally years!!

Our First Trip to Korea & Court Date

Let me first say I am so impressed by those of you who blogged throughout your trips to Korea, I loved reading them and I honestly don't know how you did it. When I had free time in the room I spent it sleeping!
Anyway Korea!! We left from our town early on the morning of Saturday, December 6 (and left ATL for ICN at noon that day) and we arrived in Korea the next evening. The flight was 15 hours long and they are 14 hours ahead. The flight wasn't too bad and Olivia didn't act up at all! Once we arrived we took a van cab (too much luggage for a normal one) to our hotel. We stayed at The Gand Intercontinental Parnas (which is connected to the Intercontinental Coex by the underground Coex mall which there is an elevetor to in our hotel). The mall just reopened and is great but not cheap. I said yes to buying a small stuffed animal (made in France) for Olivia before I realized it was $70us. There is a nice food court (think delicatessen not like a US mall food court) that had very good Korean and Western options.

DAY 1 in Korea

We woke up VERY early, around 4am. We decided to do something fun for Olivia so we took the subway to Pororo (pronounced Pololo) Park. There was one two stops away, on the very easy to navigate subway, at Lotte World. Olivia loved it though it is more suited to children 18 month to 3.5 years old. She is four. It has a massive ball pit, a play area, a small kiddy train, a bounce area, a cafe and a baby area just for very small toddlers/babies. It is a little pricey for what it is and the ticket only lets you in for two hours. It was worth it though for her to have a fun time!

DAY 2 in Korea

This was the day we had been waiting for, we got to meet our son! He is 17 months old, adorable and extremely attached to his foster mother. It is going to be such a tough transition for him! We are with SWS and the first visit is always at the foster mother's home. It is such an incredible opportunity to see exactly where and how your child is living. I am so glad we had this opportunity and wish that the trip was longer with more mandated visits since I think they will only help the child in their transition. He was shy at first but eventually opened up to us and especially my husband.

DAY 3 in Korea

Another early wake up! After we woke up we went to Coex Aquarium (conveniently located in the mall attached to our hotel. I was actually very surprised by how large and cool the aquarium was. But you may want to take my recommendation with a grain of salt as the aquarium in my town isn't that amazing.  After the aquarium Olivia and I took a nap and then we headed out to the Namdaemun markets. They were pretty neat, similar to outdoor markets in Hong Kong. It was so cold though so we didn't stay long. The picture above is of the market.

Day 4 in Korea

We had our second visit with Garum (pronounced Callum which I wish we would have known before choosing his English first name). Today the visit was in the SWS playroom. Garum seemed to like me less but still liked my husband. Before the visit we got to see the SWS baby reception center, where the children live before they are found foster homes. It was sweet and sad to see the children there.

Day 5 in Korea

Court date! This was the day I had been dreading. We had the Friday female judge, Judge Kim. We had heard horror stories but she was nice and kind to us. She asked some fairly tough questions but it was quick and relatively painless. My daughter behaved and that is what I was most worried about. After court we went out to a nice lunch with three other couples who were at court with us and who we had been chatting to on Facebook for months. It was really nice to meet them all in person and hang out with people going through exactly what we are. After lunch we crashed out at the hotel. I got food poisoning and was ill that night/the next morning. We flew home the next day and since I was up all night the night before I slept most of the flight home.

I am happy to be home but would be even happier to get a call telling me to get back on a plane tomorrow to pick up my son!

One Week Till Korea

Only one week left till we leave for Korea!! I am so excited and feel pretty ready. Everything is booked, days are planned and we are ready to go. Grayson's room is nearly ready, all that is left is to hang the pictures on the wall. My husband put together a cool train table that I hope he will like, though he will probably be a little young for it when he gets here.
I am a little worried about the court date and our judge as she apparently audits a lot of cases and sometimes requests more information and even more psychological testing. I am hoping we are approved quickly and get back to Korea a month after our first trip. Also nervous about my four year old and a 15 hour flight, at least she is a pretty seasoned flyer.
On another note I am pretty proud of myself for getting the Christmas tree up and decorated today. We usually don't decorate this early but with a trip to Korea in early/mid december I did not want to leave it till we got home. Here is a picture of our tree and Grayson's room.

Court Date!!!

We are going to Korea, it is happening folks!!!!!!!!! Yesterday I got the call that I had been waiting for. When I saw the caller id I knew it was it. Through my tears and shaking I was able to make out that we do in fact have a court date in Korea on December 12th!!! We meet our son Dec. 8th! I am so excited and there is a big weight off my shoulders of every day waking up wondering and waiting living in limbo. We have booked the flights and the hotel and are bringing our daughter too. I am so incredibly happy to meet our son this year and hopefully have him home in January!! Now to find some cold weather clothes for the trip...

Submitted to Court!

It has been over five weeks since our EP was approved and we learned today that we were (finally) submitted to court last week. This has been one of the longest waits because it felt like we were waiting for no reason, it was in our Korean agency's hands and due to them being understaffed are taking a long time with court submissions.
I am very happy to know that we are now submitted and that in the next few weeks it will be truly any day we could get a call. Now if I don't get notified of a court date in the next five or six weeks I will probably get a little crazy...and we were told by our agency it can take 4 months (worst case scenario). There are four Judges, each with very different time schedules and it is completely luck of the draw who you get assigned. One judge takes four months and one has assigned a date in as little as two weeks. Back to the waiting game, you would think I would get better at it but it just gets harder and harder.

Care package #3

Happy Choesuk everyone! We had a great weekend celebrating the Chinese Autumn Moon Festival. It falls the same time as Choesuk every year so from now on we will incorporate Choesuk traditions as well!

Today I am sending off our third and maybe final care package to our son in South Korea! I found lots of fun gifts for his foster family while in England and Paris this summer so I was glad to not have to send more random soap type stuff to them. I am so ready to not have to mail things to my son half way across the world, ready to have him home.

Last week we received updated pictures of him and even a video of him at his first birthday party. He is such a handsome fellow, I wish we could share the pictures but it is against the policy of the South Korean government. It was amazing to see how he has grown! Thankfully he was recognizable from his previous pictures.

Here are some photos of the things we sent in out care packages. We sent a gift to our social worker (teas and chocolates), chocolates and nuts for the SWS staff, gifts for the foster family and for our son. We even recorded a video of us introducing ourselves to our son (my four year old stole the show) and put it on a USB drive. Anyway here are the pics:

Working on my Korean

I have been working on learning Korean over the past few months but really only started a big effort yesterday. I had been using iPhone Apps, I have a few but so far most like this one: http://www.codegent.com/apps/mobile/learn/korean/. Well yesterday my Elementary Korean book came in the mail so I started in on the first chapter and 30 flashcards later I feel like I am making progress. I have come up with ridiculous ways of remembering words, but hey it works for me, here is an example:
Please / boo ta kam ni da. For the life of me I could not remember this consistently. Until I started thinking ok boo, like boo I scared you, Please don't scare me. Please = boo. And once I remember the boo the word comes to me. Ridiculous I know, a peek into my weird mind :)
When we get Grayson home he will probably be around 18 months so he will understand a lot of Korean (and no English) so I am trying to learn all that I can! My goal is to study Korean one hour a day/ five days a week. Not looking forward to lesson three which is the Korean written alphabet, Hangul.
One of the good things (the only?) about the very long wait is that it has given me time to really research Korean adoption and adoption in general. After reading the adult Korean adoptee blogs I feel like I will be a better adoptive parent. I have also researched and learned more about transracial adoption and Korea in general. If the adoption had only taken six months (as opposed to closing in on two years) I never would have had the time to all of this. So thanks for that Korean MOHW but I think we can get this show on the road now :)

EP Approved!!!!!

EP APPROVED!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY. So so so happy. I got an e-mail from our agency this morning letting us know that our EP has been approved. I am so happy (but sad for those submitted with us who weren't, I DO NOT understand how this process can be so RANDOM!)
I hope that our agency, SWS, gets us submitted to court very quickly. I am so ready to have my little boy home!!
Now everyone say with me, "Tuesday Judge, Tuesday Judge, Tuesday Judge..." This is the fastest Judge and their can be four-five months difference between them. That is the four to six months of my sons toddlerhood I would miss, so a pretty big deal!

EP Submitted Yesterday!!!

I got confirmation today that we were submitted yesterday for our Exit Permission!!! Whoop whoop!!! So happy the timeline is shrinking! Now the annoying thing is some form our agency used was wrong so it was a mad dash to have the right one signed, notarized and fed ex overnighted 10am delivery. When the woman from our agency called she said is was so important to get this out today because "They are trying to rush this group through quickly" I hope this is true but suspect it was said to light a fire under my behind to get the new notarized form to her. But I can hope. I e-mailed her asking who this "they" is that is trying to rush it and an estimate for a timeline. I expect her usual vague wish she had a crystal ball response.
But we are closer!!! Maybe 4 months? Maybe 6? Just praying we don't get the five month to schedule a court date Friday judge! So excited about going to Korea and meeting our guy. So glad to know our EP was submitted.

More changes in Korea

Korea has added another requirement to those in process. The new requirement is three notarized reference letters. I feel like the goal post keeps moving even though this is not that strenuous of a requirement, delays of weeks at this point are excruciating. This requirement has to be met before EPs will be approved by those already submitted, so it doesn't apply only to those starting their adoptions. Also the home study has to be less than a year old in order to be submitted for EP which is the first I've heard of this as here they last 18 months. At least we updated ours earlier this month but it just seems like one more thing after one more thing. First we learn not one but two trips to Korea then psychological tests, I just want to get through this without new and urgent things popping up which must be done.
We are hoping that we were submitted for EP this past Friday though our hope is based on FB rumors, not our agency. I'll update when we have confirmation of submission. So ready for this journey to be over and to have our son home!

EP Submission

This week has been a great one in terms of news from Korea. We recieved our legals on Monday, so I sent off our i600 yesterday AND we were informed our EP would be submitted at the end of this month! So excited to have news from Korea (they know we exist!) and now I am mapping out possible travel scenarios based on how long it takes for approval, then court submission, then court date. Getting very excited!! We are off to England tomorrow to visit family so hopefully that time will fly by and we will be submitted by the end of the trip.

Everything is Expiring

It is that time and...all of my adoption related stuff is expiring. It seems the past week has been filled with (unreturned) messages to USCIS for fingerprinting (did finally get someone), filling out SLED and sexual offender registry checks, updating references, updating the home study and just generally feeling stressed with a too long to do list. Almost have it done and going to get it sent off tomorrow by golly, just need a few things notarized.

In fun news I have been outfitting Grayson's bedroom. I realize I have a crazy amount of time before he is here but it is one less thing to worry about and has been fun. Here is a pic of the room so far and the crazy tall tent!

The stickers placed randomly on the wall are my daughter's doing, but so far I am loving the room!

Finding the wait hard!

Well I just found out that the care package that I sent to Korea May 21st was delivered yesterday! Can't believe it took so long and I guess the main lesson I learned was don't mail USPS from the UPS store, according to the tracking it took them NINE days for them to drop off my package at the USPS store (usually I love UPS but I did go to a different branch than usual). I am very happy to find that it arrived but I am thinking of holding off a bit on the birthday care package since this one just got there. Another thing I learned was that while my super cheap (well over $100 but less than the $300 UPS wanted) shipping would not let me track by the USPS receipt number I could track through the customs ID on the customs declaration form. I found this out after putting in basically every weird number/letter combination on the USPS receipt and custom receipt I could find.

I wonder when the foster mother will come to the SWS office and pick it up.
I wonder when we will be submitted for our Emigration Permit.
I wonder what day in July all the July birthdays at SWS celebrate their birthdays out at a restaurant together.

There is just so much I don't know and it is getting frustrating. I know we have a long time to go and I need to just relax but I am finding it hard.

Feeling very ugh today and feeling bad for it as I know how lucky I am and how much I have to be thankful for it. Hopefully I will wake up feeling positive tomorrow.

Books!

This past weekend I went a little Amazon crazy with adoption related books and today they arrived! 

I bought three books for Grayson (two recordable ones to send to Korea and one that I will keep here for him). I also bought myself two books. The first is Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child and the second is Toddler Adoption by Mary Hopkins-Best. I am going to try to read both this week.

I am really glad these arrived today because I just signed up with various learn Korean websites and I am sort of dreading it so now I have a reason to procrastinate. Yay!

I hope I made good book choices, I went mainly off of Amazon reviews.

Doljanchi Birthday Care Package!

I am starting to get things together to send for my son's first birthday in Korea. His birthday is in mid-July, so I am not sure how early I should send it to make sure he gets it in time. I am thinking mid-June.
His main present is what must be the world's most expensive Pororo bath toy. I say this because I had to get it shipped from Korea and then I am having to ship it back to Korea. My husband thinks I should just send an American toy but I feel like I want to send him a toy of a creature that he at least possibly already likes. The only thing I really know about his personality and likes and dislikes is that he likes baths. So this led me to Pororo bath toys. Apparently Pororo is one of the most popular Korean creatures that most kids there love. Anyway I hope he will like it since it has been around the world and back for him.

I also got some Zara Baby clothes (I love Zara kids clothes!) and a Bib the folds up as a secure carrying case for used food utensils that can be snapped to a purse. It was like $6.00 at Target. 

Our case worker said that two is "about the max" number of care packages they recommend sending to Korea. She also told me they don't get notified about care packages arriving by SWS. I will try not to send too many care packages but as the months drag on I can't imagine not sending anymore! I guess it depends on how long the process ends up taking. If it is only six months to our travel call then maybe I can resist (probably not). 

I thought about sending the traditional Dol gold ring but have ultimately decided it is kind of crazy to ship a gold ring and I also don't think parents traditionally give them to their own children, though I am not sure on this. I also don't know the foster parents circumstances and whether their children ever got Dol rings and I don't want to offend them or anything. If I am being truly honest though I think the real reason I am not sending it is that I couldn't find one for sale on the internet and I don't live in a big city where they have asian jewelers. Did any of you get your children any traditional Doljanchi gifts?

Psychological Testing for Korea

This morning I took the MMPI-II and a another personality test in order to meet the Korea requirements. They were both long (one over 500 questions and the other close to 200). It was no fun, but it is over now. Now back to getting together a first birthday care package for my little boy! A much more fun prospect!

8 Things to Know Before Adopting From Korea

In this post I am going to go through the things that stand out to me that have changed recently in the Korean program that aren't always reflected in agency's websites or older websites that have not been updated since the changes in the past two years.

So if you are thinking about adopting from Korea first and foremost call an agency to find out Korea's exact requirements. No adoption agency that I have seen lists them all on their websites as some are quite offensive. There are some race based restrictions which even I am uncomfortable going into, they have restrictions based on weight and even super common medical conditions like asthma and carpal tunnel. If you are adopting special needs some of these might be reduced. Also I am not sure if these are Korean government requirements or the agency that the American adoption agency works with in Korea. There are four Korean placing agencies. So call around and make sure you qualify before worrying about the rest of the information below.

These eight points I am highlighting aren't meant to scare you off of adopting from Korea. The truth is there are no "easy" international adoptions so you just choose a country that has a program available with risks you find acceptable. I think it is best to go in informed of those risks and that is what led me to make this post. It is not to discourage anyone from the Korea program. If I knew at the beginning what I know now I still would have chosen this program.  So with that said here is what I think a person exploring their options in adoption should know about the Korea program:

1. International adoption is fluid and can change quickly, when we entered the process we were told their would be one trip to Korea and only one parent would have to go. Now there are two trips to Korea and both parents must go to the first one and at least one parent on the second. You also now go before a Korean judge and are asked questions.

2. There is a 2 week waiting period (at least) between your first and second trip to Korea where the court contacts the birth mother and asks if she is sure she wants to give up her child for adoption. During this point she can change her mind. This was not the case when we embarked on our Korea adoption.

3. Most agencies require you to pick at least some issues you would be okay with in the child. Like fetal exposure to alcohol, cleft palate ect, this is for non-special needs "healthy" babies. And by babies I mean toddlers .

4. Unless you are of Korean heritage or have already adopted a boy from Korea most agencies will not let you request a girl. Most of the children available for international adoption in Korea are boys as Koreans are much more likely to adopt girls than boys domestically. 70-30 I think.

5. Different programs have substantially different timelines from referral to travel, some agencies are up to two years longer wait times than others, our agency quoted ten months from referral to travel. (Though when we signed up with the agency we were originally quoted 4-5 months)

6. Whatever timeline the agency gives you until referral is probably close to accurate but the timeline from referral to travel keeps expanding in a way that is hard for agencies to predict and therefore I would double or at least time and 1/2 what you are originally told when you apply for a visa.

7. This is because the Korean government wants to end international adoptions and is decreasing the amount children they allow to leave every year for international adoptions. This creates an ever growing backlog of children waiting for exit permits and means that the time from referral to travel keeps getting longer and the age of children finally brought home keeps getting older.

8. They are in the process of joining The Hague Convention on Inter-Country Adoption and so will at some point require a full on dossier.



On the positive Korea is a stable program that lots of agencies have a lot of experience with. If adopting from Korea is something you really wouldn't do I wouldn't wait because it is just going to become more difficult and more cumbersome as time goes by.

Memorial Day Weekend

I am trying hard to live in the moment and not wish the time away until we can pick up Grayson. I have done a pretty good job of it this weekend. We took a weekend trip to NYC and are having a great time!  Happy Memorial Day!

Preparing for our Adoption from Korea

 I have a to do list of things I want to accomplish before we get the court date. One is learn some basic Korean, another is cleaning out and getting ready the room for Grayson, and another is practicing some Korean recipes.. I am going to start with cooking Korean food. Is it a coincidence that I am starting with the the easiest thing on my to do list (I think not). Anyway tonight I made a delicious Korean dish, Stir-Fried Beef Chapchae. It was very good and I think the key to it's original and yummy taste is the Gochugaru seasoning. I had never had the seasoning before and I really liked it. I am going to share the recipe with you below and let me know how it turns out if you try it. As you can tell from the photos it was a Blue Apron recipe, I have a bit of a subscription box delivery habit going on right now.

Any of you other mommas (fathers too I guess ;) who are adopting from Korea have any good recipes to share? What are y'all doing to prepare before bringing home your baby (toddler)?

Psychological Testing Requirement In Adoption From Korea.

We were informed a month or two ago that Korea now requires two psychological tests in order to adopt. This is what we are required to get:

1. A clinical interview with your psychologist –Mandatory
2. MMPI-II (Results and Narrative)-Mandatory
3. One of the following four tests – MCMI, CAPI, 16PF or SCT (psychologist to include why they chose this particular test to perform.)

I have already had my clinical interview. I thought I was just going to go in to talk about what we needed and get a time frame but we ended up doing the interview and it only took about an hour. It was also nice that I didn't have time to over think it and worry before the appointment. My husband still has to do his interview.

Next we go in to do the MMPI-II and another test, not sure which the psychologist chose. She said the tests would be true/false and multiple choice. Have any of y'all done the tests yet? Are they hard? WHat kind of questions do they ask. It just seems strange to take a test about yourself as someone who wanted to could lie. I think it would make more since to have lots of people who know you have to fill out affidavits about your character (that is what we had to do for the Bar exam and it makes more since than this to me). Or to have them answer a bunch of questions about you. Sadly there is no sure fire way to make sure that an adoptive parent (or anyone) is not crazy or will not snap and go crazy at some later date. 

Anyway if any of you have done the testing (or are in the process of adopting from Korea) please share your impressions in the comments. 

Care Package to South Korea

Yay! Care packages! I love shopping so finding things to send to our son in Korea and his foster family has been very fun. I started off by researching other blogs and found some great suggestions, here are a few of the blog posts I looked at before heading out shopping:

http://adoption.about.com/od/international/a/International-Adoption-Sending-Care-Packages.htm

http://www.hellobee.com/2013/04/24/packing-it-all-in/

http://curdsandkimchi.blogspot.com/2013/12/care-package-2-sending-love-to-little.html (also this is one of my favorite blogs, the night I found it I spent a good two hour reading through back posts)

The Korean program has slowed down a lot in recent years and perhaps that is why I am having trouble finding recent (2013-2014) active forums on Korean adoption, if you know of one or are currently adopting please let me know in the comments. I would love to connect more with other families going through this process.

OK, I digress, back to my care package, what I ended up sending was:

-new USB drive (we were told to send this as the foster parents have a digital camera so they will load it with pictures, hopefully, and send it back to us)

-clothes (lots of clothes for the little guy, like 12 outfits, I went a little overboard)

-2 stuffed animals

-a child proof photo book

-Under the Same Moon recordable book

-Native shoes (I thought they were too cute to pass up)

-gift for foster mom (scarf) foster dad (loose tea drink holder) foster brother (candy) foster daughters (nice sticky notes, papyrus-esque)

-gift for korean social worker (lotion and chocolate)

I ended up having to ship it in a large rectangular box, USPS for $110.00

I am worried that SWS will have to pay an import fee and may decline the shipment. (I included cash to cover it but obviously it is inside the package so they don't know that.) I claimed that the stuff in the boc only cost about $70 (below the around $150 duty free import limit) but didn't realize the shipping would be so much and that the shipping amount is included in the duty free limit amount (shipping + cost declared). 

It should arrive in Korea in the next week. 

Timeline So Far

I am starting this blog to fill the time between now and the travel call. I know I am always interested in people's timelines, so that is what I am starting with.


Nov. 2012 - Sent in application for adoption agency

Dec-Jan 2013 - Homestudy

3/21/13- Everything sent to Korea

(since I am writing from the present I cannot remember when my I-600A was approved, but I know it expires Nov. 2014)



May 7, 2014 - Received  referral for a little boy

May 12, 2014- Finished and mailed acceptance paperwork to agency.

I thought I got the paperwork out pretty quickly after it was e-mailed to us, but I wish the agency had let us know what all would be needed so I could have everything ready to sent off immediately upon the referral.

5/20/14 - Acceptance paperwork to Korea

7/30/14- EP Submission

8/29/14- EP approval!

10/1/14 - Submitted to Court

11/4/2-14- Notification of Court date

12/12/14 - Court Date

12/26/14 - PA (Assuming since SWS doesn't notify you and that is when the ESWS people with our date were notified)

12/31/14 - Travel Call!!!! We were told Final Approval will be 1/12/15

1/12/15 - Custody

1/15/15 - Visa Interview