Doljanchi Birthday Care Package!

I am starting to get things together to send for my son's first birthday in Korea. His birthday is in mid-July, so I am not sure how early I should send it to make sure he gets it in time. I am thinking mid-June.
His main present is what must be the world's most expensive Pororo bath toy. I say this because I had to get it shipped from Korea and then I am having to ship it back to Korea. My husband thinks I should just send an American toy but I feel like I want to send him a toy of a creature that he at least possibly already likes. The only thing I really know about his personality and likes and dislikes is that he likes baths. So this led me to Pororo bath toys. Apparently Pororo is one of the most popular Korean creatures that most kids there love. Anyway I hope he will like it since it has been around the world and back for him.

I also got some Zara Baby clothes (I love Zara kids clothes!) and a Bib the folds up as a secure carrying case for used food utensils that can be snapped to a purse. It was like $6.00 at Target. 

Our case worker said that two is "about the max" number of care packages they recommend sending to Korea. She also told me they don't get notified about care packages arriving by SWS. I will try not to send too many care packages but as the months drag on I can't imagine not sending anymore! I guess it depends on how long the process ends up taking. If it is only six months to our travel call then maybe I can resist (probably not). 

I thought about sending the traditional Dol gold ring but have ultimately decided it is kind of crazy to ship a gold ring and I also don't think parents traditionally give them to their own children, though I am not sure on this. I also don't know the foster parents circumstances and whether their children ever got Dol rings and I don't want to offend them or anything. If I am being truly honest though I think the real reason I am not sending it is that I couldn't find one for sale on the internet and I don't live in a big city where they have asian jewelers. Did any of you get your children any traditional Doljanchi gifts?

Psychological Testing for Korea

This morning I took the MMPI-II and a another personality test in order to meet the Korea requirements. They were both long (one over 500 questions and the other close to 200). It was no fun, but it is over now. Now back to getting together a first birthday care package for my little boy! A much more fun prospect!

8 Things to Know Before Adopting From Korea

In this post I am going to go through the things that stand out to me that have changed recently in the Korean program that aren't always reflected in agency's websites or older websites that have not been updated since the changes in the past two years.

So if you are thinking about adopting from Korea first and foremost call an agency to find out Korea's exact requirements. No adoption agency that I have seen lists them all on their websites as some are quite offensive. There are some race based restrictions which even I am uncomfortable going into, they have restrictions based on weight and even super common medical conditions like asthma and carpal tunnel. If you are adopting special needs some of these might be reduced. Also I am not sure if these are Korean government requirements or the agency that the American adoption agency works with in Korea. There are four Korean placing agencies. So call around and make sure you qualify before worrying about the rest of the information below.

These eight points I am highlighting aren't meant to scare you off of adopting from Korea. The truth is there are no "easy" international adoptions so you just choose a country that has a program available with risks you find acceptable. I think it is best to go in informed of those risks and that is what led me to make this post. It is not to discourage anyone from the Korea program. If I knew at the beginning what I know now I still would have chosen this program.  So with that said here is what I think a person exploring their options in adoption should know about the Korea program:

1. International adoption is fluid and can change quickly, when we entered the process we were told their would be one trip to Korea and only one parent would have to go. Now there are two trips to Korea and both parents must go to the first one and at least one parent on the second. You also now go before a Korean judge and are asked questions.

2. There is a 2 week waiting period (at least) between your first and second trip to Korea where the court contacts the birth mother and asks if she is sure she wants to give up her child for adoption. During this point she can change her mind. This was not the case when we embarked on our Korea adoption.

3. Most agencies require you to pick at least some issues you would be okay with in the child. Like fetal exposure to alcohol, cleft palate ect, this is for non-special needs "healthy" babies. And by babies I mean toddlers .

4. Unless you are of Korean heritage or have already adopted a boy from Korea most agencies will not let you request a girl. Most of the children available for international adoption in Korea are boys as Koreans are much more likely to adopt girls than boys domestically. 70-30 I think.

5. Different programs have substantially different timelines from referral to travel, some agencies are up to two years longer wait times than others, our agency quoted ten months from referral to travel. (Though when we signed up with the agency we were originally quoted 4-5 months)

6. Whatever timeline the agency gives you until referral is probably close to accurate but the timeline from referral to travel keeps expanding in a way that is hard for agencies to predict and therefore I would double or at least time and 1/2 what you are originally told when you apply for a visa.

7. This is because the Korean government wants to end international adoptions and is decreasing the amount children they allow to leave every year for international adoptions. This creates an ever growing backlog of children waiting for exit permits and means that the time from referral to travel keeps getting longer and the age of children finally brought home keeps getting older.

8. They are in the process of joining The Hague Convention on Inter-Country Adoption and so will at some point require a full on dossier.



On the positive Korea is a stable program that lots of agencies have a lot of experience with. If adopting from Korea is something you really wouldn't do I wouldn't wait because it is just going to become more difficult and more cumbersome as time goes by.

Memorial Day Weekend

I am trying hard to live in the moment and not wish the time away until we can pick up Grayson. I have done a pretty good job of it this weekend. We took a weekend trip to NYC and are having a great time!  Happy Memorial Day!

Preparing for our Adoption from Korea

 I have a to do list of things I want to accomplish before we get the court date. One is learn some basic Korean, another is cleaning out and getting ready the room for Grayson, and another is practicing some Korean recipes.. I am going to start with cooking Korean food. Is it a coincidence that I am starting with the the easiest thing on my to do list (I think not). Anyway tonight I made a delicious Korean dish, Stir-Fried Beef Chapchae. It was very good and I think the key to it's original and yummy taste is the Gochugaru seasoning. I had never had the seasoning before and I really liked it. I am going to share the recipe with you below and let me know how it turns out if you try it. As you can tell from the photos it was a Blue Apron recipe, I have a bit of a subscription box delivery habit going on right now.

Any of you other mommas (fathers too I guess ;) who are adopting from Korea have any good recipes to share? What are y'all doing to prepare before bringing home your baby (toddler)?

Psychological Testing Requirement In Adoption From Korea.

We were informed a month or two ago that Korea now requires two psychological tests in order to adopt. This is what we are required to get:

1. A clinical interview with your psychologist –Mandatory
2. MMPI-II (Results and Narrative)-Mandatory
3. One of the following four tests – MCMI, CAPI, 16PF or SCT (psychologist to include why they chose this particular test to perform.)

I have already had my clinical interview. I thought I was just going to go in to talk about what we needed and get a time frame but we ended up doing the interview and it only took about an hour. It was also nice that I didn't have time to over think it and worry before the appointment. My husband still has to do his interview.

Next we go in to do the MMPI-II and another test, not sure which the psychologist chose. She said the tests would be true/false and multiple choice. Have any of y'all done the tests yet? Are they hard? WHat kind of questions do they ask. It just seems strange to take a test about yourself as someone who wanted to could lie. I think it would make more since to have lots of people who know you have to fill out affidavits about your character (that is what we had to do for the Bar exam and it makes more since than this to me). Or to have them answer a bunch of questions about you. Sadly there is no sure fire way to make sure that an adoptive parent (or anyone) is not crazy or will not snap and go crazy at some later date. 

Anyway if any of you have done the testing (or are in the process of adopting from Korea) please share your impressions in the comments. 

Care Package to South Korea

Yay! Care packages! I love shopping so finding things to send to our son in Korea and his foster family has been very fun. I started off by researching other blogs and found some great suggestions, here are a few of the blog posts I looked at before heading out shopping:

http://adoption.about.com/od/international/a/International-Adoption-Sending-Care-Packages.htm

http://www.hellobee.com/2013/04/24/packing-it-all-in/

http://curdsandkimchi.blogspot.com/2013/12/care-package-2-sending-love-to-little.html (also this is one of my favorite blogs, the night I found it I spent a good two hour reading through back posts)

The Korean program has slowed down a lot in recent years and perhaps that is why I am having trouble finding recent (2013-2014) active forums on Korean adoption, if you know of one or are currently adopting please let me know in the comments. I would love to connect more with other families going through this process.

OK, I digress, back to my care package, what I ended up sending was:

-new USB drive (we were told to send this as the foster parents have a digital camera so they will load it with pictures, hopefully, and send it back to us)

-clothes (lots of clothes for the little guy, like 12 outfits, I went a little overboard)

-2 stuffed animals

-a child proof photo book

-Under the Same Moon recordable book

-Native shoes (I thought they were too cute to pass up)

-gift for foster mom (scarf) foster dad (loose tea drink holder) foster brother (candy) foster daughters (nice sticky notes, papyrus-esque)

-gift for korean social worker (lotion and chocolate)

I ended up having to ship it in a large rectangular box, USPS for $110.00

I am worried that SWS will have to pay an import fee and may decline the shipment. (I included cash to cover it but obviously it is inside the package so they don't know that.) I claimed that the stuff in the boc only cost about $70 (below the around $150 duty free import limit) but didn't realize the shipping would be so much and that the shipping amount is included in the duty free limit amount (shipping + cost declared). 

It should arrive in Korea in the next week. 

Timeline So Far

I am starting this blog to fill the time between now and the travel call. I know I am always interested in people's timelines, so that is what I am starting with.


Nov. 2012 - Sent in application for adoption agency

Dec-Jan 2013 - Homestudy

3/21/13- Everything sent to Korea

(since I am writing from the present I cannot remember when my I-600A was approved, but I know it expires Nov. 2014)



May 7, 2014 - Received  referral for a little boy

May 12, 2014- Finished and mailed acceptance paperwork to agency.

I thought I got the paperwork out pretty quickly after it was e-mailed to us, but I wish the agency had let us know what all would be needed so I could have everything ready to sent off immediately upon the referral.

5/20/14 - Acceptance paperwork to Korea

7/30/14- EP Submission

8/29/14- EP approval!

10/1/14 - Submitted to Court

11/4/2-14- Notification of Court date

12/12/14 - Court Date

12/26/14 - PA (Assuming since SWS doesn't notify you and that is when the ESWS people with our date were notified)

12/31/14 - Travel Call!!!! We were told Final Approval will be 1/12/15

1/12/15 - Custody

1/15/15 - Visa Interview